To the interior corridors of my neurosis. To the land where the sweet little frogs of geometric fixation play nice with the rabid crocodiles of a hyperbolic aversion to rain. Or something.
This week I’m fixated with little things, and no, I’m not referring to your dad’s anatomy. Terrariums. Oh dear god. A fucking tiny garden encased in glass. It marries several of my favorite things.
1. Transparent things – (like glass, water, gin, and your father’s intentions).
2. Things so tiny that they’re hardly functional (except that – let’s be reasonable here).
4. Playing god.
So like some perverted cult leader, I’m going to show you how to make your own
tiny world to lord over terrarium.
You will need:
Locate a jar or little-world-receptacle of some kind.
You should probably clean it out or something. Fill the bottom with some hell-pebbles.
Crumble the horse shit into a thin layer over the pebbles, this is
because I was too cheap to get any charcoal to stop it all looking like mud. Then throw delicately place in some dirt you stole from another pot plant potting mix.
Step Four (optional)
Seal your tiny world
Marvel at your creation. Let there be a lamp, look at it and feel confident that you nailed it. Ignore the gaps where you need to rely heavily on the suspension of disbelief in order to make sense of it all.
Congratulations! You are now the god of a tiny world. Now you can sit back and let the minions thrive because you in no way did anything that could annihilate them. Nothing. Certainly none of these things. Your world looks incredible. So there is absolutely no need to compare it to any worlds other gods (like ApartmentTherapy) may have created that may seem for a moment more effective than yours (like these insanely amazing ones on Inhabitat).
For more info on how to be a god of your own tiny planet, you can pick up a copy of Tiny World Terrariums: A Step-by-Step Guide to Easily Contained Life from amazon for about $12.
Or if you have a short attention span like me, you could just watch the video below and learn how to create a terrarium
that may actually survive on a larger scale.