In off-white stained briefs he scratches himself
out the front of the half-way house
as the girls giggle by, stomachs stacked with shots,
he watches them pull up every windscreen wiper
to the sky, leaving all the cars paused in prayer,
their hoods shining in the dewy early hours
One of the girls squats behind a car
rolling up her tight red dress to pee.
The man picks up a ukulele, hisses
“Excuse me, some people are trying to sleep!”
before humming Thunderstruck and plucking
the only remaining string.
Freudian Friday meets end-o-week drinks.
Let’s make an innocent little gin get dirty. It’s Friday morning and we’ve got the whole day to suffer through before we can get our dranks on. So
lets get masochistic and relieve our ennui – by daydreaming cocktail hour because I’m just fucking neurotic like that. So pull up a wobbly wooden stool in some pompous bar surrounded by eclectic hipster knickknacks, overpriced finger food, & that one staff member who always looks like they just hate the living shit out of humanity missed the bus in the rain. Cross your ankles and thoughtfully stroke your facial hair and let’s have one innocent little drink, one might even say that we deserve one because life is cruel and makes us work for a living. So suck this for an ennui remedy – The Dirty Ginger Gimlet.
Dirty Ginger Gimlet – you will need:
A highball glass packed with ice.
10-20ml Bickford’s Lime Juice Cordial (depending on how sweet you want it)
10ml Lime Juice
30ml of Dry Ginger Ale
A dash of White Wine (whatever you have on hand – in my case Sauvignon Blanc)
no it’s not – stay classy motherfuckers: A slice of lime to serve.
Grab your highball, fill it with ice and let’s build some adultery.
First the Cordial.
Then the lime juice. Traditionally a Gin gimlet ingredient.
Then your gin. I use Tanqueray because
I’m a gin snob it’s magnificent.
Then the dry ginger ale. Traditionally the main ingredient in a Gin Buck.
Then the White Wine (that’s what makes it all so dirty
because wine tastes like shit)
Give it a stir and you’ve got yourself alcohol’s answer to a love child – a Dirty Ginger Gimlet.
Now that you’ve
taken a bunch of pictures of liquids imagined yourself awkwardly drinking at home alone on a Thursday night while you blog about affairs between alcoholic beverages sipping the bastard,
put shit away/ get back to work marvel at its makers.
and imagine yourself hypothetically maybe not having any wine stoppers, causing you to do something
impractical classy like make your own out of aluminum foil an appropriate medium.
Or alternatively you could snap out of your psychosis just in time to learn a bunch of
real traditional cocktail recipes (including the traditional Gin Buck and Gin Gimlet) from Monotone Josh and the amazing peeps at About.com