An arrow from the gods! Did I greet it?

(Crime and Punishment mash-up)

An arrow from the gods! Did I greet it?
Pinned by my frontal lobe to the wall
a man beyond the limit of his endurance
empty of coherent replies

my heart is a weasel in its burrow home
escaping some larger carnivore, I feel her
in my sinews, her words ride my spinal cord
like a chill, in my semi-delirium.

My soul is a clockwork animation
I feel no more than psychology.
At another time, I was a prophet
I have ideas enough to draw a crowd.

Meek and mournful, now I sit
by the poker machines, preaching restraint
they kicked me out like an old drunk
If she were here they’d never dream it.

I have her photograph in my breast pocket
I wear it to warm myself to the world
I’m used to carrying on.
Beware gods! I’ve a warrior for ya!

Why should I stay any longer?
Why should I deprive the ground
of my majestic tranquillity?
Why should I spare the worms my charm?

Show me the tip of your finger
I will tell you the fate of your family
fate is an arduous business
I know only what is possible.

Life is full of absurd suppositions
I am one man. I can never be more.
An arrow from the gods! Did I greet it?
In some past life, did I curse a man?

What damage did I cause to have the
gods take my wife early?
leaving me at my knees.
I have no time for inexorable judgement.

I have only cold despair.
I stand at the cliff as it crumbles
I sit on the rocks as the tide tantrums
I am a man of choice. I am no god’s toy.

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Audrey (uminoyami)

Audrey (uminoyami)

Your Ursula stares despondent by the jars

filled with ocean creatures past I imagine

them pulsating fast as lovers’ hearts

in their preserving liquid. Slowing with

the chemicals a final fidget before dark.

 

Audrey, how do you capture?

Hair fluid as water, those eyes that sulk

somewhere off canvas, ears that have

heard the disappointment

that could have been my own.

First published in Tide , no. 7, 2010.