Freudian Friday: Let’s Gingerly Drink to this Affair.

Freudian Friday meets end-o-week drinks.

Let’s make an innocent little gin get dirty. It’s Friday morning and we’ve got the whole day to suffer through before we can get our dranks on. So lets get masochistic and relieve our ennui – by daydreaming cocktail hour because I’m just fucking neurotic like that. So pull up a wobbly wooden stool in some pompous bar surrounded by eclectic hipster knickknacks, overpriced finger food, & that one staff member who always looks like they just hate the living shit out of humanity missed the bus in the rain. Cross your ankles and thoughtfully stroke your facial hair and let’s have one innocent little drink, one might even say that we deserve one because life is cruel and makes us work for a living. So suck this for an ennui remedy – The Dirty Ginger Gimlet.

Dirty (spotty) Ginger Gimlet. It'll cure what ale's ya.
Dirty (spotty) Ginger Gimlet (a young Gin Buck had sordid affair with a sweet little Gin Gimlet). It’ll cure what ale’s ya (I can’t be held responsible for that pun, I’ve been watching a lot of these laydehs lately).

Dirty Ginger Gimlet – you will need:

A highball glass packed with ice.

10-20ml Bickford’s Lime Juice Cordial (depending on how sweet you want it)

10ml Lime Juice

30ml Gin

30ml of Dry Ginger Ale

A dash of White Wine (whatever you have on hand – in my case Sauvignon Blanc)

Optional no it’s not – stay classy motherfuckers: A slice of lime to serve.

Method:

Grab your highball, fill it with ice and let’s build some adultery.

First the Cordial.

Sweet Lady Gimlet.
Sweet Lady Gimlet.

Then the lime juice. Traditionally a Gin gimlet ingredient.

Married young, the union went sour.
Married young, the union went sour.

Then your gin. I use Tanqueray because I’m a gin snob it’s magnificent.

She hit the bottle.
She hit the bottle (look at that gorgeous green – urgh, Tanq baby, I love you).

Then the dry ginger ale. Traditionally the main ingredient in a Gin Buck.

She met a young buck.
She met a young buck.

Then the White Wine (that’s what makes it all so dirty because wine tastes like shit)

and they got all birds and bees.
and they got all birds and bees.

Give it a stir and you’ve got yourself alcohol’s answer to a love child – a Dirty Ginger Gimlet.

akjbdkwdbf
and pop goes the weasel – she’s preggers with a bastard. The horror!

Now that you’ve taken a bunch of pictures of liquids imagined yourself awkwardly drinking at home alone on a Thursday night while you blog about affairs between alcoholic beverages sipping the bastard,

getting drunk home alone on a thursday night.
Adultery never looked so fresh.

you can put shit away/get back to work marvel at its makers.

Add a touch of class to your shitfaced afternoons cocktail hour.
Add a touch of class to your shitfaced afternoons/nights/lunch hour after work drinks.

and imagine yourself hypothetically maybe not having any wine stoppers, causing you to do something impractical classy like make your own out of aluminum foil an appropriate medium.

Nailed it.
Nailed it (mushroom cloud).

Or alternatively you could snap out of your psychosis just in time to learn a bunch of real traditional cocktail recipes (including the traditional Gin Buck and Gin Gimlet) from Monotone Josh and the amazing peeps at About.com

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Mind Food Monday: Zimbardo and time.

Brain Bites – Professor Philip Zimbardo

As I’m off being an obnoxious tourist, this episode of Mind Food Monday will be slipped into your acoustic canals by Philip Zimbardo (@PhilZimbardo), professor of psychology at Stanford University. Here he discusses different attitudes towards time and how these attitudes impact our lives. Video courtesy of the gorgeous people at RSA. Visit their website to keep up to date with new lectures and articles. You can also subscribe to their YouTube channel (highly recommended), follow them on Twitter or catch new content via their Facebook page.

Past, present or future orientated, which are you and how does it impact your quality of life?

Mind Food Monday: Minxes in the Media

All the cool people are doing it

So I finished my degree. Zing! Down comes the confetti. No. This is not today’s confetti. Table-Talk Tuesday is for the personal stuff and hipster photos of mediocre things. Confetti tomorrow.

Long confetti. Confetti longer than my body. Because I make the rules and the rules say ‘fuck logic’.

Focus. Today is the day where I post the works of overachievers in order to dive into a pit of inadequacy  inspire you to live your dreams, reach for the stars and shine bright like diamonds in the sky (really Rihanna? Really? I’d like to think that diamonds are pretty damn shiny as they are but what do I know? Nothing about sky diamonds clearly).

Moving on. Since I’ve spent the last week putting as much distance between my grey matter and academia as humanly possible I’m going to avoid the high art and head straight for YouTube. So here goes my top three laydehs of Youtube and why they’re good for you:

3. Let’s get Hartosexual – Hannah Hart and My Drunk Kitchen

Yes. Just yes. Nothing in your mind should be saying no to this woman. She sings about cheese; she dances, she gets drunk, she tries to cook, and she makes puns.

Oh, and she swears. A woman after my own harto.

2. Two dogs, one Blonde: Jenna Marbles

Adorable voices, adorable dogs, adorable dress ups, and oh hey, she doesn’t give a fuck. Not one. She’s everyone’s favorite go-go dancer with a Masters degree – Jenna Marbles.

She impersonates celebrities and rants about things that irritate her. Oh yeah, and she swears… Anyone see a pattern here?

1. That’s Gracist: My daily dose of Grace Helbig

Number one because she’s my current favorite. Number one because she Vlogs every day. Every. Day. You’ve all seen what happens when I try a dose of the daily upload – explosions and sadness premature posting and Wikipedia level fact checking (I think there’s a nasal spray for that now). Even if you can’t stand her, daily content is no small task. 

She drinks, she sings, she makes weird noises and oh, she swears… I feel like this is important the similarities between my top three YouTubers says too much a lot about me as a person…

Moving on.

Awesome things common to these three women:

1. Lack of fucks given.

2. Swearing and general ‘unladylike’ behavior.

3. Ability to laugh at themselves and show vulnerability.

4. Commitment to their medium.

5. General sass.

All three Laydeh Tubers (not really a good description but roll with me here) manage multiple channels as well as several social media accounts, various side projects for sponsors, and guest spots for fellow YouTubers. What have you done for your artistic ‘brand’ lately? Hmmm?